My grandmother and I. Do we look alike?

Typically for Christmas or Thanksgiving I make my own little dishes that I can quietly eat while everybody else eats the “main” course. This year however my mom rented a house for all our family to share in Carmel, California. It was a great way to spend Christmas … a block from the beach … with beautiful views. Yet there is always the touchy subject of food.

My family has a long tradition of making pork tamales for Christmas dinner. Of course for the last seven years I have not participated in this tradition. Instead I munch on some salad or bread and try not to make an issue about not eating the tamales. For Hispanic families, tamales are a BIG deal. My 91-year-old grandma spends days preparing the masa and then my mom and step-dad go to her house and help make a zillion tamales assembly-line style. I get that tradition is important. I absolutely do. But if I asked why the tamales have pork in them, the answer would likely be “because it’s always been done that way”.

This year I felt adamant about not being left out of our family tradition. I really wanted to learn how to make tamales from my grandma. Long before our Carmel get-together, I broached the subject of making vegan tamales with both my mom and my grandma. This caused quite the uproar. I heard many excuses about why we couldn’t make tamales at the beach house or how they just wouldn’t be good with vegetables, etc. But I pressed on. After all I am part of this family and I want to be part of our traditions. Finally, my grandma agreed to teach me how to make tamales with VEGETABLES!

My grandmother and I cooking tamales.

I was so excited, I could not wait for our cooking session! I found this great vegetarian tamale recipe from razzle dazzle recipes. It sounded delicious with edamame, corn, zucchini. We spent an afternoon cooking the vegetables and assembling the tamales. My grandma showed me exactly how to spread the masa in the corn husks, how to fold the tamales exactly right so they don’t fall apart, and how to cook them in a steamer. It’s a day I will never forget.

Now here’s the best part. When it came time for dinner, we served both the pork tamales and the vegetarian tamales. I didn’t bring out many of the veggie version because I assumed most of my other family members wouldn’t be interested. But they were! Practically everyone tried the vegan version and several asked for seconds. I couldn’t believe it! I was so happy to spend the day with my grandma and absorbing her 90+ years of experience making tamales. I’m even happier to think that perhaps I’ve changed the family tradition just enough to accommodate those of us who prefer compassionate food choices.

During this holiday season, I know it can be tough to be vegan. Remember why you have chosen to live this way. Is it for the animals, the planet or for your health? Any and all of those are great reasons to bring your vegan message to your friends and family who may not think about how their holiday traditions effect animals, the planet, and their health. How can you help others make compassionate food choices?

Cheers to making new traditions!

Don’t miss Part 1: Why Go Vegetarian, Part 2: How to Become Vegetarian, and Part 3: Vegetarian Nutrition.

Gene Baur from Farm Sanctuary speaking at an event.

This five part series has been dedicated to helping people make the transition from an animal-based diet to a plant-based diet. I’ve covered why go vegetarian, how to become vegetarian, and vegetarian nutrition. Now I’m going to tackle one of the social components in part 4:  speaking vegetarian. It might sound funny to think you need to talk a certain way to be vegetarian but truthfully, as you begin to make this shift, you will notice that people treat you differently. They ask you strange questions. And it’s helpful to have some standard responses. In this post I will give you ideas about how to respond to people who have genuine questions and people who are just being idiots.

As Carol J Adams, author of the book Living Among Meat Eaters, said to VegNews magazine in the October 2009 issue, “Until a vegan or vegetarian enters the room, people don’t see themselves as meat-eaters. They are merely ‘eaters,’ and it is we vegans who have made them aware of what they are doing. Often this is discomforting.”

Following are some of the questions I am asked quite often. Responses are offered for your amusement and preparation for times when you too are confronted about your vegetarian choices. Remember, these are just my ideas here. I’m not telling you what to say. You have a brain to think for yourself. If you have better, funnier, more appropriate answers, please share them in the comments section below … we can all learn from each other.

Q1: Why are you vegetarian/vegan?

• A1-a: Plants don’t scream.
• A1-b: To lessen the suffering of people and animals on our planet.
• A1-c: So I can live to see the future. Don’t you know that factory farming creates more harmful green house gas emissions than the entire transportation industry? And, more than half of all the water consumed in the U.S. is used to raise animals for food. If we don’t stop eating meat, we won’t have a planet to live on.
• A1-d: For my health. Animal products have been shown to cause cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and many other health problems. By eating a plant-based diet, I lessen my chances of dying prematurely from preventable diseases.

Q2: What’s wrong with eating a big juicy steak … nom, nom, nom?

• A2-a: Um, it bleeds. Where do you think that blood comes from?
• A2-b: Farmed animals today are sick. These sick cows produce diseased and bacteria-laden flesh that even industry standards call ‘unhealthful’. (Thank you Michael Greger, MD!)
• A2-c: Taking a life is a very serious thing, you better have a damn good reason. (Thank you Isa Chandra Moskowitz!)
• A2-d: If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian. (Thank you Paul McCartney!)

Q3: What do you eat? Pasta and salad?

• A3-a: Becoming vegetarian opened up a whole new world of food to me. I eat a greater variety of food now than I did when I ate meat.
• A3-b: There are a zillion more varieties of plants and grains than there are food animals. The diversity of food is in the plants, not the meats.
• A3-b: There are many alternatives to eating meat that are better for your health including tempeh, tofu, and seitan.
• A3-c: For more on this topic, see the post How to Become Vegetarian.

Q4: Weren’t humans meant to eat meat?

• A4-a: Just because we can, it doesn’t mean we should. (Thank you Colleen Patrick-Goudreau!)
• A4-b: Perhaps, yes, humans can digest meat but that doesn’t mean we have to. We have evolved to a place where we can make conscious decisions about what we eat. I choose consciously not to eat dead animal flesh.
• A4-c: In caveman times, people sustained primarily on plants. Meat was caught and eaten sparingly. In this day and age, we have flipped that idea on it’s head. To produce the amount of meat people are eating today, animals, humans and the environment are subject to extreme suffering.

Q5: What’s wrong with drinking milk or eating cheese? The cows aren’t killed.

• A5-a: Only female cows produce milk. What do you think happens to the male calves? They are sold for veal. This means they are kept in tiny crates, chained by the neck, and unable to move for several weeks before they are slaughtered for their baby flesh.
• A5-b: By supporting the dairy industry, you are supporting the veal industry. I would rather not inflict pain and suffering on baby calves when they have done nothing to harm me.
• A5-c: Dairy cows are constantly impregnated so they can produce milk which was meant for their babies. But they are not allowed to give their milk to those babies. Humans drink it instead. Doesn’t that seem a bit odd?
• A5-d: For humans, drinking cow’s milk has been linked to heart disease, some types of cancer, diabetes, and even osteoporosis, the very disease that the dairy industry claims its products are supposed to prevent!

Q6: The bible says humans are supposed to eat animals because they have no souls.

• A6-a: There are several passages in the bible that state animals can seek redemption just as humans can. These are a few: (Revelation 5:8-13), (Romans 8:19), (Romans 8:21).
• A6-b: I don’t think humans have ’souls’ as you define it either, but I’m still against cannibalism. (Thank you Kipp Lanning!)
• A6-c: Regardless of whether or not you think animals have souls, why do you want to intentionally cause pain and suffering to animals that have done absolutely nothing to harm you when you don’t have to?
• A6-d: Adam and Eve were vegetarian in the Garden of Eden before they sinned.
• A6-e: For more on this topic, see the post Do Animals Have Souls?

Q7: Aren’t there laws that protect farmed animals?

• A7-a: Sadly there are not many laws to protect farm animals or even the people who eat them.
• A7-b: The atrocities committed against farm animals would be illegal if dogs or cats were the victims and yet much of the time, these farm animals are just as smart and sentient as the dogs and cats we treat as family members.

Q8: What if scientists breed pigs so that they don’t feel pain? Then would you think it’s ok to eat them.

• A8-a: No. Just because an animal can’t feel physical pain it doesn’t mean they don’t suffer psychologically from inhumane living conditions and separation from their natural social groups.
• A8-b: If scientists can spend so much time and money figuring out how to breed pigs that don’t feel pain, they could better spend that time coming up with an artificial meat that has the benefits of pork without the harmful effects. That would be even better for humans and there would be no animal suffering.
• A8-c: If scientists can genetically modify pigs so that they don’t feel pain, what else are they modifying? It sounds like weird science to me and I would rather put non-genetically-modified foods into my body. Who knows what effects the genetic modification will have on the humans that eat the pigs.

Q9: Don’t you care about people? There are so many people suffering, how can we care about the animals?

• A9-a: I do care about people. Factory farming is not only inhumane to the animals but the industry is inherently awful to the human workers as well.
• A9-b: I do care about people which is why I promote vegetarianism for health reasons. Studies show that vegetarians have less incidence of preventable diseases like heart disease, obesity, and some cancers.
• A9-b: Who gives a rip about people. The animals have done nothing to cause us pain and suffering. It’s not right that we should impose our harsh treatment on them by making them pay for our gluttony with their lives.

Q10: Plants are able to chemically respond to their environment and stimuli. Your vegetables have feelings too.

• A10-a: At this time there have been no studies to prove that plants are sentient beings … meaning that they are not capable of feeling pain, sorrow, joy, love, loss, and happiness. If there comes a time when that is proven to be true, I will make different choices then.
• A10-b: I will watch my vegetables harvested and brought to table if you watch your chicken, cow or pig ‘harvested’ and brought to table. Then you can decide which one you feel better about eating. (Thank you Lacy!)
• A10-c: Wouldn’t you agree that there is a fundamental difference between tearing up a head of lettuce and slitting a live chicken’s throat or removing the skin of a cow while it’s still alive?
• A10-d: The ability to feel pain requires a brain, a central nervous system, and pain receptors. All mammals, birds, and fish have these things; plants do not. Animals feel pain, just as we do. As far as we know, plants don’t.

One thing you must remember is that some people will never, ever change. Instead of wasting your energy being frustrated with those people, move on. If a person is relentless in “attacking” you about your choices, stay calm. Don’t fight back. Simply say, something along these lines. “I choose this life because it is what feels right to me. If you feel ok about the choices you make, then we agree to disagree.” There is really no point in getting into it with them. They likely don’t even care what you have to say, they’re just trying to rile you up. Be the bigger person and know that you are living a life that makes you feel good and in a way that shows respect for others.

There are many people out there with open minds that are looking for inspiration to change. You can be that inspiration simply by being a positive role model. Go forth and inspire …

That still leaves us with the discussion about what to feed the family. Of course I don’t want to cook meat. In fact I just won’t do it. But I do enjoy cooking and would love to impress my family with some vegan delights that even they can’t resist. My step dad is an open-minded guy. He’s always interested in what I’m eating and even has taken a liking to Silk soy milk! I think he’ll be ok with a night of vegan cooking.

I’m going to try appealing to my guests with butternut squash and chickpea stew with couscous. It is SOOOOO yummy, fairly easy to make and full of protein. I’m not sure if my mom will see it that way. If she feels like she’s going to die without eating meat for one meal, then I’ll have to ask my hubby to cook up some chicken. That would mean ending the day in vegan defeat but hopefully with some positive conversation about the benefits of chickpeas an couscous!

After what will hopefully remain a vegan dinner, I’ll wow them with some cookies and cream vegan cupcakes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World! Now surely they won’t be able to resist those.